"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections to whats really important" Family!

Thursday, December 31, 2009

"Auld Lang Syne"

As 2009 draws to a close I can't help but think back on all the ups, downs, and hopes that were not realized this year. The purpose of looking back is to mull it over, grieve, laugh and maybe even cry over it, look it square in the eye and bid it adieu, so-long.....farewell, and good riddance!

I am a big believer in change. Way before Our president made it cool. I believe if you want, and despite what others may say or feel, YOU can turn whatever it is you don't like around. You can step out of the you of yesteryear, and wake up and decide to be a better, more productive, loving, kind, tolerant you. People may not like the fact that you've decided to grow for the better, but eventually they will come around.....and if not ...oh well.

I'll always be the first to admit my shortcomings, and I resolved a few years back to be a better me. I am so glad that I made that decision. I am glad I decided to wake up...roll over and just be better than I was yesterday. People doubted and even put me down for it...all in the hopes of maybe I'll stop trying, and just continue to be the same, But you know what....I'm not the same, I am better, and I am proud of it. Evey day I will keep striving for the best me.

As women and mothers we all have soo much to be proud of. Everyday we make it through our own personal hardships and struggles, is another day that makes us better, stronger humans.
Everyday our children grow happier and healthier, thank god and let's not be afraid to be proud of the good job we are doing. No matter what...no matter how big or even how small your struggle is. If you can get past it, do it....and be proud inside that you did.

My hope for the new year is that it will be filled with new beginnings, that my children will continue to grow and most of all continue to THRIVE! I pray things of the past will emerge from their cocoon changed and blossom into something different...something better. I pray that my little family can enjoy another year on this earth, loving and being here for each other.

"Don't you carry nothing that might be a load"

I wish every one Peace & Love



Melon Obsession 2

You may be able to tell by the pictures I have up that I have become enamored with baby headgear and "color splash" photo editing!

First the headgear....

This is my first daughter so naturally I am excited about all things cute! The last time I used a bow in my own hair was in high school! LOL Anyway,....I have been on a lot of baby head accessory websites and while the stuff they sell is cute, it's kinda expensive. Sure I could drop $19.99 on a super cute flower hat, but why should I? This woman is perfectly able and WILLING to create her own bows and clips. This past weekend I took a trip to this shopping area in the bronx called Fordham Rd. I went to a lot of the baby stores and could not find any really nice bows or headbands like the ones I've seen on the web. That's when I finally decided to hit the craft/fabric store and re-create some of the styles that caught my eye on the Internet. The headband my girl wore in the latest "Wordless Wednesday" post I made myself.....not the red one...but the one with the dots.

So far I've created six bows (using a few clips I was able to find at a store), I going to make a few crochet hats with flowers and feathers, once I go back out and find some additional material.

Check out Hana's latest headband!

Color splash editing......

What can I say...it adds such a nice touch to B&W pictures. Whatever color you want to pop, really does with this effect! It's going to make all my headband, flower, and hat pictures amazing. I know this technique of photo editing has been out FOREVER.....but hey.... I just started using it so cut me some slack =^_^=. I am new to all this picture creation stuff, and we all have to start somewhere right??

anyway...more to come as I take them, hopefully this year will be full of amazing and splash-tastic pictures!

Milkin' Less?

I am concerned...

As I mentioned in my holiday blog entry, I think my left breast is drying up!!! I'm just getting less milk in there lately,...a whole lot less!. I don't know what's going on. My DD is only 5 months old, she nurses F/T, for the most part I don't give her any bottles or supplement with formula. I thought I was doing everything right and now POOF! Overnight my supply in that ONE boob is cut in half! weird.......My right breast is producing just fine, no change there.

This is very frustrating, and not the worry I want to begin the year with. Not that I want to worry at all this year, but I have been able to save tons of money because I don't need formula. My baby budget has been on track so far, and I'm not too thrilled about the looming threat of similac's outrageous prices. I was hoping to BF at LEAST to 8-9 months. With my last son, I began to dry up naturally because of my hectic, killer OT schedule. There was just simply no time to pump at work, and my bosses didn't care. Their only concern was that I was at my desk taking calls. If I knew then what I know now I would have made a bigger stink about it, but that's water under now.

Lately, I've been trying to keep the stress of things going on all the way to a minimum by just not concentrating on it, but maybe it's internalized and manifesting itself in my lowered milk supply. I don't know.......I hope I can get to the bottom of this soon, and the milk rebounds. I'd hate to have to give up BF'ing so soon.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Monday, December 28, 2009

Holidays for sale?

Like most people this extended weekend has been very busy. Shopping for last minuet gifts, giving and receiving of those said gifts,  cooking, eating, going to church ect......


This year, my six year old son was in a play at church for the Christmas holiday! I must admit I never thought of him as a "Thespian"(he loves physical contact sports), but maybe he get's it from his dear old mom...lol (I love to act, and have been in several plays as a child...I'm also a HUGE lover of Interpretive Dance). But with my doubts aside, there he went....marching up the aisle with his fellow actors, dressed as the cutest angel I've ever never seen. He has been practicing for this show for the past few weeks at church every Sunday after services, and by the look of confidence on his little face on the stage, I would say he was comfortable.

The baby didn't make too much of a fuss in church aside from the time she got hungry and wanted to nurse. I think the feeding went well aside for the well meaning congregation member peaking over my shoulder to see if the baby was nursing right since she was still fussing after I put her to my breast (did I mention she does this thing where she "complains" for a few minuets after I begin feeding her? Its soo cute..). After her feeding she apologized to everyone at church by sitting cutely on my lap and flashing her little smile at everyone who looked her way......such a princess ham she is...lol! 

and .....this time I had my breast pads on!!! see I too can learn..LOL!


This is the most picture-taking holiday I have ever seen! I don't think there is anyone on earth who didn't take at LEAST ten pictures this weekend! Everywhere you go, some one has a camera! heaven forbid if you looked less than perfect this Christmas weekend, It will and I mean WILL be "on tape" . With that being said....guess what I gave my sister as a gift??? a got darn digital camera!!


While we are on the topic of gifts, I made this year "The year of recycled gifts"! Don't get me wrong....I didn't go totally cheapo.....I was just a bit more frugal this year. I did go out and buy some video games for my nephews and phone peripherals for my son, but I also gave away a few things that I love, but no longer use or just see fit to give away. For instance.....I gave my niece this black hematite necklace that I have had and loves for years. She's into jewelry and always admired it whenever she would see me with it on. So, I decided to gift it. When she opened the box, she was soo excited to have it because she loved the piece, and she said it made her feel a bit more like me (awwww!). To my paparazzi sister went my awesome digital camera! I love that cam, but hers recently broke. She too had admired it when I took pictures with it this summer, so off it went to a loving home!. With the exodus of lovingly used things went one iPod,  two mp3 players, another camera, and a cell phone. Things that I have upgraded past, but still having a long life ahead of them.

All-in-all nursing this past weekend has been very good..., with the exception of one new phenomenon. My left boob seems to be giving up on producing much milk! (I will give this issue it's own post).


I must say this season was very joyous. I am very grateful that I got to share it with family and friends. Personally I feel that this year the holiday was turned into a "sale circus". If you managed to truly give from the heart and not just your wallet then I commend you! With everything being "reduced" and prices being slashed, It's hard to keep focused on the "real" spirit. My children's eyes lighting up after seeing some shiny toy was not the best part of the weekend (thou I do admit it made me smile)......no...rather it was just sitting down together laughing and talking at the end of the night with my family that truly warmed my achy little heart.  After a tough year it's all you really need.....a few hands to hold, love, cherish and remind you that you're loved in return.

As always...pictures to come, as soon as I hook up the cam.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

24 Hour Snack Bar!

Or as it's widely know.......Co-Sleeping!

I don't know about anyone else, but after almost five months of it,  I think it's crib time. I realize how awesome co-sleeping is to a nursing mom. You never have to make a trek to the crib or bassinet to retrieve a fussy hungry baby, nurse, put the baby down to sleep, and repeat. Instead you get the luxury of just rolling over a short distance, and feeding the baby, then going back to sleep. Now......right there,  in that last step is where my problem lies.

I can't go back to sleep, or even sleep semi-soundly, and it's killing me. I wake up from a shallow sleep everyday exhausted, and looking for ways to sneak in a nap. The biggest reason I'm up is because my little girl takes in snacks, or nibbles all night, in lieu of a "real meal". My nipples are "working" from the time I hit the hay, until the time I get up to get the boys going in the morning, and then again until Hana goes down for her 9 am or so nap. All this nibbling keeps me from sleeping, since I wake easily.  

One night I was so sleep deprived and my LO was crying, I rolled over and scooped her up, then proceeded to give her my boob. She kept fussing and I was thinking "uggh! just drink already"......I sleepily looked down to see her swiping at my breast and fussing....turns out I was poking her in THE EYE WITH MY BOOB! I felt soo bad, but It was kinda funny. 

All in all, I don't know how to "fix" this. I don't know if putting her down in the crib will help......most likely I'll end up having to "teach" her to sleep without boob-cifiers. It's my fault anyway.....I guess I should have not choose to co-sleep, or maybe I'm doing it wrong......

Suggestions please..................anyone have any advice for a sleepy moo-moo co-sleeper?
 Be sure to leave your comments below, thanks!

Monday, December 21, 2009

The Moooo-st Wonderful Time

It's almost Christmas and I am getting excited about it for a change. The tree is up and the boys did a great job decorating it. Today I am going to have everyone try on their church outfits. I put the baby in her dress last night to see if it fits and it does.

On my list of needs for attending church on Christmas......, I WILL NOT forget the breast pads! AND I WILL bring a few bottles of expressed milk for the baby with us. Since this is a time of year that the church will be super crowded, I don't want to worry about nursing, leaking, or wearing something that I can get my breast out of.

In other news....Like most easterners, we got our first snow of the season this weekend. My six year old has been waiting for this since thanksgiving. As the snow began to fall late Saturday night, he grew more and more excited. When the accumulation of snow hit an acceptable level, I allowed the boys to go out and play!

They put on their heavy gloves and coats, bundled up tight and ran down the stairs and out the door. It's too bad Hana is too young to play in the snow. Oh well...maybe she will get a chance to play with her brothers next year.
The "snow castle"

Friday, December 18, 2009

Bad Daddy!

Ok.....not that bad...

But, maybe too eager. It seems daddy has taken a shine to (the idea of) feeding the baby. He bought a big (in my eyes) box of baby cereal for Hana. Looking at it made me feel insulted for some reason. First off I plan to make all of my LO's food in a baby blender until she is old enough to eat modified table food. Second, I don't think she is ready I'm not ready to begin her on solids yet because, I feel it will diminish out EBF relationship. I know....how selfish right (bad mommy?) ?

I just don't want to rush her into food, then have my supply drop, and thus begin the premature weening process. Is that wrong? Am I worrying for no reason??? I am not opposed to feeding her a little here and there, but seeing the box scared me because I feel once you open it, you have to commit to giving her the whole thing, making it part of a daily routine...and the feared cycle begins.

It's enough to make me scream.
My Hana @ 4 months trying out a dab of taters!

Missing Medela


Maybe that's it, but I must confess..., I have not pumped in a few weeks. Ok....well maybe that's a stretch because I had to attend to business and upon my return I had to pump out the milk that collected while I was away from my LO, So saying I haven't pumped at all is a lie. What I'm trying to say is that most (99%) of my girl's meals come straight from the tap nowadays. I don't pump in the middle of the night or even in the daytime for that matter. If I have to be away from Hana for a short period of time, I take time out to nurse her really well before I leave. She has been doing well with being able to wait for my return. When she was smaller, she had to have a bottle and could not wait, but at almost five months she can.

I have to say that I am missing my "old faithful". I used to sleep with the pump within arms reach for those nighttime sessions. My pump ia sitting near my dresser patiently awaiting my return. I fully intended to kick-up the pumping but I just could not stick with it and go back to the grueling schedule. I don't think my supply has gone down much, so for now I think we'll be ok, besides I still have the huge freezer stash for back-up.

Has anyone else made the unintentional transition to nursing only and not giving bottles of expressed milk to baby?

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Legal Milk 2

Ok, I'm back in commission, and just in time to attend to more court activities........

Yesterday, I had to go to my local courthouse to fill out some important paperwork. I didn't think it would take long to do, so I brought my little girl and six year old son along. Well let's say I underestimated the wait time and ended up being there for a little over 3 1/2 hours! I always knew that all things dealing with the goverment required an insane amount of waiting time, but i gave this the benefit of the doubt. Never again...

I packed (2) 4oz bottles thinking this would be enough for the wait (remember I was thinking 1 hour max). Hana guzzled them down in 1 hour flat! I don't know what got into her but all of a sudden she was the hungriest baby on the planet. I won't say it was all bad, she did a bang up job for a 4 month old. She played with her toys, only used her diaper (poo) once, and was generally in a good mood, despite being in an unfamiliar place. 

About in hour 3 she became antsy and wanted...no demanded to nurse. She tugged at my shirt, gave me her patented "complaint cry", and refused to sit in an upright position (she knows nursing is always done in a cradle hold). I was hesitant to release the girls, but ended up doing just that. I don't know what it is about my breast and the courts that just don't mix. It makes me feel weird. I guess the man sitting across from me in the complaint room , clearly staring doesn't help my hesitance either. LOL I don't know, maybe after all that waiting he was hungry and jealous of the baby eating.

My six year old did an amazing job in waiting also. He is not the type to sit still for too long so this was a major accomplishment for him. As soon as we left I promptly rewarded him with some much deserved Mikcy D's. He was very excited because we hadn't been there to eat for a few months now.

Ryan has become quite the photographer!
Look at the picture he took of his sis at the courthouse!

Hana 4 months-3 weeks old

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Sick activities....

So what else is there to do when you're in your sick bed, have slept all that is humanly possible, and staring at the ceiling is making you dizzy? I, in true blogger fashion have decided to re-do the video collage I made about my little girls birth!. What's up right now is the old version.....the new one is wayy longer and will have more pictures and moving video in it.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzvGg943k58

I'm feeling tired again, oh well.....guess the leftover sickness is still strong. Better get my nap in before the baby wakes up for her feeding.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Down With The Sickness

I am Ill,......That's all I feel like writing because I feel like I've been jumped by two big angry moms in a toy store on Christmas Eve.

But, still I nurse. 

Come runny nose and congested chest, 
Homemade soup, I like best

Still..... I nurse.
Hungry baby, mouth wide open, 
Eat your dinner, time for burpin'
Sill...... I nurse.
Headache roarin', and big boys still snorin'

still...........I nurse.
Scratchy throat, honey won't soothe 
Little girl rollin' over, she's on the move!!

still I NURSE!
Right arm sore, car seat's heavy
Can't feel my face, My head's gettin' heavy

Still......I nurse

Fast asleep, I feel a tugging 
Hana's face, ah! she STILL suckilin'

Still.....I nurse.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Melon Obsession

Ok,,,,,we all know there is only so much you can do with a small baby's hair. I mean aside from sticking bows and an ungodly amount of barrettes onto their silky thin tresses, there is not much else to do. While staring down at my LO's head as I nursed her, I began to wonder how I could spruce up that tiny noggen. That is why I have found myself in cranium heaven, with my discovery of HEADBAND BOWS AND BABY BEANIES WITH FLOWERS!!

Good thing winter is approaching, because now I have the best excuse ever to buy tons of CUTE AND FUN headgear for Hana!! Check out the links below, I've purchased a few items that I'm hoping will get here before christmas so she can don them for the holiday pictures!



This is one of my favorites!!

Also check out the sister site called "Little Limbs". They have the cutest little leggings and warmers for chunky little thighs!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


If you're ever looking for me late, late at night, you can find me barely sleeping in bed with an baby shaped growth on my chest. ....In all seriousness, I honestly think my boobs are pulling double duty as pacifiers.

Ever since my girl was old enough to nurse, she has been at it non stop. I tried introducing her to those tiny lifesavers called pacifiers, but no matter which one I bought she never had much interest in them. (trust me, I bought every brand babiesrus and target had hoping for a miracle, even tried different sizes too!) I have asked various family members to try giving it to her in the hopes that she would accept it from them, with no success. The odd thing is that she had no issues with bottle feeding, and switching back and forth from breast & bottle. I know four months into nursing is a bit late to try to re-introduce a paci but I really want to see if maybe now it could work for us.

Looking on the bright side like I always try to do....., I guess we won't run the risk of pacifier dependence, or of ever having to look for a lost binky. I may try once more just to see if she has changed her mind and switches from paci-mom to a silicone substitute.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Thanks For The Milk

Fist full of candied yams......

Yesterday was my sunflower's first Thanksgiving, and it could not have been any better. I spent many hours in the kitchen cooking up a feast worthy of my family and friends. Shopping for all the food and the bird was INSANE to say the least, but by some miracle I managed to get everything and cook it up with skill. This year I must give huge credit to my big man. He picked eight bags of greens all by himself! He found ever little cabbage worm or egg (there is nothing better than young eyes). All I had to do was clean and cook them.

This year I had a bigger crowd, and thanks to my transforming dinner table (bump! to IKEA) miraculously there was space for 12 of us grown folks at the table (I set a separate table up for the mini munchkins =^_^= ).

My little Hana was sitting on my sisters lap when she was served. While she ate, Hana grabbed a fist full of candied yams off her plate!! The baby dropped the most of it, but her finger were covered in the sweet prize. She sucked all the potatoes off and that sent her into a crying tizzy. Seems she wanted more and didn't appreciate being removed from her new found food source LOL!! After an emergency nursing session in the bedroom( and unfortunately that's where I had to finish my meal) , she was back to normal and was able to return to the table with the debut of her high chair (fresh out of the box erected skillfully by Papasan). she looked so adorable sitting there. I cant wait to give her a feeding in it....but not yet (not yet).

After the good time that I had yesterday I am a little sad.....My Hana is going to be starting solids soon. I am trying to hold off till the six month mark, but she is very interested in eating. I don't know if she can wait. She has not even had baby cereal yet. Nothing but breast-milk.

I am already starting to mourn the soon-to-be loss of our EBF relationship. My Flower is advancing so fast. gone is the helpless little meat roll of summer lol. Of all the things I have to be thankful for this year, I truly am thankful for being able to enjoy bonding with my little one through BF'ing. I am grateful for every drop of liquid gold.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Legal Milk

Let it be known that court and nursing DO NOT go together!

Today I had the pleasant experience of attending court (I was called as a witness for crap). I got there early enough,.. only to be shuffled into a waiting area reserved for the fearful people who were avoiding someone they have an order of protection against (yes...I have an order). All joking aside,.....the area was not that bad. It had lots of toys and soft chairs abound for the kiddies and adults. It was a quiet, well lit, air conditioned room with phones and a water cooler. The only thing it was missing was ...well..food LOL! I just didn't like it because of all the air of sadness it had. The room never really filled up...just one or two people in and out, but they were always sad. Sometimes even crying because they had no place to go home to because of an abusive spouse/boyfriend or family member, or they were locked into a court battle with an ex who denies paternity or just denies period. Since I don't find any of that amusing or even funny, I ....feeling like I was trapped became bored. Good thing I came prepared and loaded lots of games up.

At about 12 ish I began to feel the all to familiar tingle commonly known as "let-down". Because with me it's very forceful, the "let-down" hurt a lot. I was halfway through grabbing my chest when I remembered that I was in public. I quickly took my hands down and told the clerk that I was going to step out to the ladies room. Guess what I forgot in my haste in the am?? ...?? you guessed it! BREAST PADS!!!! Why do I always forget these?!!? The only thing that saved me and my cute suit was the fact that I had on a padded bra (great at soaking up impromptu leaks) and the suit was a dark pinstripe. pheeew!

Now back to the down side.......The court went to lunch from 1 to 2 pm and then resumed ...all still without calling me! By the time I was called (after 4pm) I was inflated like a thanksgiving balloon. Ready to burst and in a lot of pain. I don't know what was worse.....the dumb lawyers crappy questions or my boob pain( I was waiting for her to ask me about my breastfeeding habits ..lol). Well at least my boobs were in pain for a reason....life giving milk was piling up. The lawyer was just unorganized and dumb for no reason at all.

A huge part of me was embarrassed because I kept thinking everyone in the courtroom could see my milk stains (I was shaking a bit because of it). I could not wait to get off the stand and out of revealing light lol. I wish I would have worn the pads. In hind sight I would have given clearer answers if I didn't have this stalking my thoughts (and shown that no office having lawyer a thing or two

Oh well. Sera, Sera....

Yeah.....I did contemplate toilet tissue....It wont stop the gushers thou.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Zombie Cow


For the last week or so I've been up at crazy hours of the night. It seems like a back slide, but my little girl no longer wants to sleep at night anymore. Instead she is WIDE awake at times when she is supposed to be getting sleepy.

It all starts around 8 pm. She is fed, changed, and all readied up for bed. But the response I get is anything but sleepy! She start to smile and laugh up a storm at the smallest things I do. She coos and giggles, and at time even begins to complain using all her cute little sounds. Sometimes I swear she can "talk". Lomg story short she is staying up till 3am most nights, and last night she fell sound asleep in the morning at 5AM!! Now I'll admit she takes about 2 cat naps in between 8 and 3 am. But she pops right back up in only a few (10-15) minuets.

The lack of sleep is starting to get to me. I tried nursing her more than usual to see if it would put her to sleep and between 3 and 5 I was as dry as the desert. I had to warm up some milk from my freezer stash and give it to her. Maybe its some king of growth spurt, but I'm hoping things will go back to normal soon. In the mean time I have to kick up my pumping again to keep my supply from taking too much of a dip from the stress of sleepless nights.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Splish Splash Photo

Look what I spend my time doing when I get pictures.

I'm still uploading various pictures.....It became so boring I had to take a few minuets out and do something fun.

Membership Granted!

Last week was very busy, getting things ready for Hana's church welcoming ceremony was a crazy task.

First the dresses that I ordered came in the bigger 3-6 month size. I originally picked the 0-3 month size, but you know what....The bigger size fit her anyway. I bought both, but put her in Dress #1 (the sleeveless one). She looked like a fairy princess in it!

I had to return the shoes because they were too small. That had me running out to find the perfect pair of shoes. I found cute little booties in this shopping location in my city called third avenue on Wednesday(along with a ton of other things).

The cutest two little pigtails ever!! She still has that spiky hair thing going on, and her hair is long enough for the tails to work. So yeah....ok my job was easy...but it was my first time, and I didn't want to mess up.

I had to also get new outfits for the boys since the official "Christening" won't be for another 2 1/2 months, and I didn't want them to use their formal suites until then. More thanks to "Third Avenue"!

I must have been crazy because I cooked all the food for the party!! That took up most of my Friday and Saturday. I did order the cake...It was very good (exquisite looking & tasty) except I hate fondant with a passion.
I wanted it done in butter cream but the look would not have been the same.

Below is the cake That was delivered but the pink was lighter in color.

I'm Just happy that everything went well. Everyone in the church loved (officially) meeting Hana and she has been dubbed "The Little Doll". There were about 26 or 27 friends & Family (not including me & Daddy) at the luncheon plus some invited parishioners from that mornings services...... , 17 attended the ceremony. All in all Hana's day was amazing.

I will post a link to the album as soon as I can get the pictures uploaded from Daddy's Cam.

Best Sunday ever!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Bring Me to Life!

Ok, so I'm finally getting down to some serious business.

Over the last three months I've taken scores of still and videos of my little sunflower, however I have yet to liberate the majority of them from my devices. Well today I'm saving them from pixelated purgatory, by uploading them to a photo website, and ordering all of the prints at once. The videos I will burn tomorrow and store them in my album of cd's & dvd's. I have a few living on the youtube site like the one shown below.

I plan to make it longer and add more clips, but for now it will have to do.



Sometimes you find comfort where you didn't think to look.

It's always nice when friends & family come to visit. but, I hadn't been looking forward to bf'ing in front of my baby's aunt and uncle. After about 30 mins into the visit my little fussy girl starts her patented squeaks for milk (she squeeks before she cries...so service better come fast). I retreat to my rocking chair for the nursing and grab a blanket to cover up.

In the midst of feeling awkward, I remembered that Lidia (aunt) BF her kids till they could nurse and then cover HER back up! lol! After thinking about who there was the REAL milkin queen....I considered myself "schooled" and from there on didn't feel weird or shy at all. bye bye blanket.

Here they are after the milk was had.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Nursing on wheels

Driving while nursing.....is an impossibility no matter what! ......now nursing while pulled over is very do-able......however I never seem to like nursing on the go. It's just so ........so..on the fly and cold (it is fall). I like nursing in my rocking chair in the comfort of my own home.

Today I took bottles of BM with me so I don't have to NOTG. When I got home I offered my LO a bottle too. She gave me the oddest of looks (kinda like "you know you better give me the good stuff..I've been good all day!") so yes.....I got the girls out and gave her fresh milk lol!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Milkin' Scared

I threw my first kiddie Halloween party!

In lieu of the whole "trick or treating" thing, I threw my 6 year old son a party! I have never planned and executed a kid Halloween party before, but I must say it was a success! I bought all kinds of cake, candy, treats and candy apples. The kids had a blast. I picked 4 of Ryan's friends up from school (I could have never done this in my old car) and then met 3 more at the house. It was all boys (well one friend had his little sister with him) rough housing and doing what little boys do. Needless to say it was noisy! Very.

The kids loved the decorations that my sister gave us, and indulged in the chips and soda (provided by dad) to their hearts content. everything went as planned. The only thing That went ....well not wrong..but odd, was that the kids could not stop watching the "THRILLER" video. over and over they watched MJ in high deff. It got so bad they wanted to see the "BAD" and "Billy Jean" ones too! My oldest son was laughing at them the whole time.

During the party I became swollen, but could not breastfeed because I didn't want to offend or have one of the boys go home exclaiming they saw something inappropriate. So this time I just gave the baby a bottle of BM and called it a night. There was no time for me to slip away and pump so I just suffered......and suffer I did, because when I did hit the pump...I put out about a good 7oz! Hana took care of the left side.

now I start planing Thanksgiving.......maybe I'll cook...maybe I'll go to someone's house. we'll see...

Paparazzi Shuffle

Ok...so like every other mom out there with access to digital recording devices, I have become a true paparazzi. Ask me for pictures of my LO farting and you'll not only get pics but video of the whole fart process as well! The issue you ask?? Well ..also like everyone else my pictures are having a hard time finding their way out. Sure ..sure I load them into my computer.....some times, but the majority of them still live in the cam. Today I managed to take a few early photos off of the memory card. I had forgotten how cute those shots were. I have to go to one of those photo-something sites and print them all out.

Hana ~aka~ "milk monster" @ a few hours old

Monday, October 26, 2009

Cheese........Made From BreastMilk!!

I ran into this post below and thought it would be cool to share it. Cheese from human milk?! I don't know if I'd try this.......I'm stuck between curiosity and cautiousness.



"Human Breast Milk Cheese… Made in France…

I’m an adventurous eater… But I’m not too sure about this one…

human milk cheese

Le Petit Singly is a farm that specializes in making cheese from women’s breast milk. Are you imagining the milking process?

The cheese is produced exactly like it would be for cow’s milk and apparently tastes like it has hints of hazelnut… And you can order breast milk cheese online from le Petit Singly, if you’re interested."


Now this is what I found regarding human cheese......

"There are currently no well-known documented cases of human cheese being produced. Human breast milk is on average 5% protein, which is a smaller concentration than that in both goat and cow cheese. Because protein is necessary for milk to curdle, the low percentage of protein in human milk may prevent curdling from occurring."

The only thing left ...is for me to try it!

Before I Forget

Cows do sleep....

I picked up those BF'ing PJ's. They are cool I guess. If I sound a little disappointed, I am. My brain kinda imagined awesome garments that soothed the boobs and simultaneously milked me too!. Oh well....What I bought is just an elongated glorified nursing bra. Flaps are nice, but should anyone PAY EXTRA for them?? In my opinion, NO. Bellyaching aside, The night wear is nice, and when it came time to use the flaps.....I was glad I had them.

In other news I'm still sick. Hana is beginning to cough as well. I called the pediatrician today, and she said if the baby's symptoms get worse I should bring her in or to the ER. I hope we are better in time for the baptism next week. I want my LO to be in good health(all the time &) for the big family day. I was thinking about rescheduling it, but then I would have to re-do the invites. Not fun!

I changed my mind on the dress. It's now between the two dresses below. I have until Friday to choose in order to get it in time. These dresses are much more affordable than the previous one I picked out. Which one do you think I should go for 1 or 2?

Dress#1 Dress#2

Oatmeal..........does work. I've been eating it at least once a day and I have noticed a continued increase in my milk supply. Good thing I like it.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Off Topic: Frozen in time

Today, I saw this story about a girl named Brook Greenberg. She is sixteen years old, but........looks like she is 6 months old!

Us moms always joke that we would like to freeze time and keep our cute babies little forever. Well this child is actually living this reality.


ABC's story below......

"Brooke Greenberg is the size of an infant, with the mental capacity of a toddler.

She turned 16 in January. she is old enough to drive, but still rides in a car seat.

"Why doesn't she age?" Howard Greenberg, 52, asked of his daughter. "Is she the fountain of youth?"

Such questions are why scientists are fascinated by Brooke. Among the many documented instances of children who fail to grow or develop in some way, Brooke's case may be unique, according to her doctor, Johns Hopkins School of Medicine pediatrician Lawrence Pakula, in Baltimore.

"Many of the best-known names in medicine, in their experience ... had not seen anyone who matched up to Brooke," Pakula said. "She is always a surprise."

Brooke hasn't aged in the conventional sense. Dr. Richard Walker of the University of South Florida College of Medicine, in Tampa, says Brooke's body is not developing as a coordinated unit, but as independent parts that are out of sync. She has never been diagnosed with any known genetic syndrome or chromosomal abnormality that would help explain why.

In a recent paper for the journal "Mechanisms of Ageing and Development," Walker and his co-authors, who include Pakula and All Children's Hospital (St. Petersburg, Fla.) geneticist Maxine Sutcliffe chronicled a baffling range of inconsistencies in Brooke's aging process. She still has baby teeth at 16, for instance. And her bone age is estimated to be more like 10 years old.

"There've been very minimal changes in Brooke's brain," Walker said. "Various parts of her body, rather than all being at the same stage, seem to be disconnected."

Brooke's mother, Melanie Greenberg, 48, sees a different picture. "She loves to shop," Greenberg said. "Just like a woman."

Brooke rides in a stroller while her mom shops for clothes in the infant sections of department stores near their home in a Baltimore suburb. That Brooke is in her mid-teens is so mind-boggling that if another mother with a toddler asks Greenberg how old Brooke is, she usually doesn't try to explain.

"My system always has been to turn years into months," Greenberg said. "So, if someone asked today, I might say, she's 16 months old."

For more of Brooke's story, watch the documentary, "Child Frozen In Time," Sunday, Aug. 9 at 9 p.m. on TLC."


Off Topic : Stroller Queen!

I love Babygizmo!

Holly Schultz is the stroller queen! No, seriously I love all her demo's. When I was pregnant I watched everything she researched. I recently saw her demo of the new Baby Jogger, & iCandy Peach That debuted at the ABC Kids Expo in September. These strollers rocks! It can transform into an amazing double use buggy. If you have babies of the same or even different ages you can use this stroller!

I am a mama of one baby and two big boys so right now I may not get full use of all the features these strollers has to offer, but they're soo awesome it makes me entertain the idea of having another child..(I would love to have 2 daughters!).........but......(JUST KIDDING! REALLY...KIDDING). Anyway these are great strollers. That's the thing about life....newer, better products are always coming out. At this rate people will just start renting strollers so they can trade up latter LOL!

I've included the youtube link and the review below. HAPPY LOOKING!! Don't forget to tell me what you think.

iCandy Peach


Baby Jogger New City Select Stroller Coming Soon!

bj_select4Baby Jogger debuted their new City Select 2010 Stroller at the ABC Kids Expo this past week! The City Select is a multi-functional stroller that gives parents the ability to mix and match seats, bassinets and car seats to make the stroller perfect for them. The City Select starts out as a single stroller but expands to a double by using Baby Jogger’s unique patented attachment method. No need to buy a single AND a double stroller! Love that!

In order to turn the stroller into a double, a sold separately double conversion kit is required. There are 16 unique seating combinations from double tiered car seats to a bassinet and a single seat. The only seating combo it doesn’t do is a double bassinet option. The City Select features Baby Jogger’s famous Quick-Fold Technology making it the only in-line stroller to fold flat in one simple step. With a 45 lb per seat weight capacity, the City Select will last you through your stroller years.


Features of the Baby Jogger City Select:

  • Unique multi-function design allows you to select your seating arrangement
  • 16 unique seating combinations (with double conversion kit)
  • Hand operated parking brake
  • 12″ forever-air rear and 8″ lightweigh dual front quick-release wheels with front wheel suspension and sealed ball bearings
  • Multi-position seat recline for passenger comfort
  • Multi-position sun canopy with peek-a-boo window and adjustable head height up to two additional inches
  • Adjustable 5-point safety harness with shoulder pads and buckle cover
  • Multi-position foot well tilt adds leg support for smaller children
  • Telescoping handlebar with wipe clean grip
  • large under seat basket can be accessed from all sides
  • Secure fold latch to keep stroller folded for transportation or storage
  • Comes in 3 colors: Ruby (Red), Onyx (Black) and Diamond (White)


The Baby Jogger City Select is a great stroller for those parents looking for the versatility of a single and a double. It will be available December 2009! Stay tuned for my full review and video review of the Baby Jogger City Select as soon as they come out!"

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Sleepwear Boogie

Spending lots of time on my back........

Being knocked out by a cold/flu kinda makes you re-think your sleepwear. I've been giving my bed some serious one on one time lately trying to recover from a stuffy/runny nose, headaches, body aches, OJ inhaling illness. Aside from pulling myself up and out for some key occasions most of my time is spent in my "sick bay".

I realized something last night while trying to nurse my LO. The PJ's I had on were NOT meant to wear while feeding. They didn't pull up or down. When it came time to feed Hana I fussed with my clothes, meanwhile she got more and more impatient. In the end I just took the darn top off!! Another thing that hit me was that if I'm serious about bf'ing I am going to have to invest in some night clothes that allow for easy access to "the girls". I know......the phrase "duhh" comes to mind, but remember my baby was born in the summer, so I had the mini tank things or bare as an option.

Anywho....I have a few nursing tops that I bought sariler this year, so for tonight I'll use those, but come Friday I'm going into the city to the maternity store to see if they have anything that I can sleep & feed in. Hopefully by then I am feeling better and up for the journey.

Sunday, October 18, 2009


Since I am raging ill, my little flower will be getting lots of antibodies from my milk. I was told by my doctor that bf'ing while you are sick is good for the baby. I hope so, because my body aches and my throat feels like I've been rubbing it with sand paper. So far Hana only has the the sneezies. I hope she doesn't get sick.

This illness could not be any timelier since I think the baby is going through a growth spurt. She is nursing like a little monster lately. At about 1 am or so she begins feeding fervently. A few nights back she drank so much, I was left completely empty! she was fussing for more so I tried to just keep nursing her but the milk was not coming fast enough. I broke down and gave her a bottle of expressed milk.

It's been like this for a few days, but now my body has got the hint and now at the same time of night there is now a lot of milk available. I would be happy but being sick and all, I don't feel up to dragging myself up in bed to pump. Needless to say that I suffered engorgement last night. I was hoping the baby would drink up the milk but as it turns out she was sleepy.

I am not looking forward to tonight.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Baby Falls!

I just wanted to share what I read in one of the forums today. "CCTV footage captures moment pram rolls in front of train as mother looks on in horror."

It's a miracle the baby is ok. Watching this video made my heart jump into my throat

Other moms and myself would like to know what brand of stroller that was. It kept the baby safe (with god's help of course) and I would definitely make it my next stroller if I needed a replacement.

again.....what a blessing that was, baby was not harmed. It reminds me of the balloon incident that was all over tv yesterday. I prayed soo much that the kid inside the balloon would land safely. Even thou he was safe and sound at home the whole time....I'm still glad he is safe.

update----5:37pm - -just heard it may be a Phil & Ted stroller ...but it could be a rip-off look alike as well. )

update#2----5:45pm----I looked around and found the review below about the stroller on amazon.com.......Maybe this was the problem??? I retract my statement on buying this ever!

"3. the brake on this is very difficult to use...you have to lift it up or put it down with your foot, and it's a very stiff break. While it does loosen up a bit over time, it's still practically impossible to do in sandals or flip flops (which is a big problem for me during the summer). Also, it snaps very forcefully in and out of place, which will definitely wake up a sleeping child in this stroller. "


"A 6-month-old baby in Australia survived being run over by a train because he was strapped securely into his baby stroller.

The baby’s mother was temporarily distracted by an oncoming train as she waited on an elevated train platform. Her baby son’s stroller rolled off the platform and onto the tracks just as the train ran over it. Grainy video shows the mother desperately reaching for her baby and nearly being hit by the train herself. She then screams hysterically as onlookers walk away in shock"

Cow Party!

Who knew cows could party with the best of em?

I mean that in the most loving way of course......Today I attended a party for breastfeeding mothers. It was thrown by a community organization to help us bf'ing moms connect with Lactation professionals and other moms. It was a nice treat.

The party started at 1 pm. Walking in at 1:15 sharp (lol) I was greeted by the host of the event, shown around to the different tables of foods and given a "Breastfeeding Promotion Packs" that contained lots of free samples from diapers to breast pads, to nipple cream....even milk storage bags! The speaker congratulated us on our" investment in our babies and ourselves" Saying lots of things like how "wonderful and beneficial exclusively breastfeeding is" ect... I got a chance to sit with my baby and other mothers and children to exchange bf'ing knowledge, tips, and tricks.

All in all, it was a very nice (food filled) experience. LC's are always very friendly and primed to dole out their wealth of knowledge.

Funny thing.....the men that went were all huddled in one corner chatting and eating while the ladies buzzed around the room. Every time a new husband or boyfriend came, the walked a bit with their woman and eventually ended up in the "man corner". It was very funny to see.

and yes, we all whipped out the girls with no reservations when it came time to feed the babies.....and every baby seemed to be hungry.

on a side note....it's just seems so odd to celebrate something that should be second nature. I guess somewhere in time formula took over what the norm was.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Rapidly Reproducing

Like bunnies,.....

After just doing my part to over populate the planet, I am beginning to think my baby's things have started to multiply on their own. The swings, bassinets, bottles, clothes, car seats, high chairs ect are beginning to take over my otherwise spacious living room. Between the things I purchased and the gifts I realize I have too much stuff. Good thing I got rid of stroller #2 before they piled up too. The only thing I wish I had more of is the breast pump and socks. My little girl is a sock kicker. She has lost over 12 socks since she was born= ^_^= . I know I am partly to blame, but I do hate turning down gifts, and feel it's rude to do so. It is a good problem to have and if I can't sell this stuff I'm thinking of donating it.

anyone know an agency that collects things for mothers in need?

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Motherhood Mealtdown

Being a "perfect parent" ........

I just read this post by a fellow mommy blogger that made me take a deep breath and relax. This blogger wrote about her brief inability to breastfeed due to the medication she was taking and how it affected how she viewed herself as a mom. Below you will find the excerpt that resounded most with me. I hope it helps all of us just relax and be confident that we are doing our best.

"I used to think I was defined by my cloth diapering, babywearing, organic eating, acrylic painting, woods dwelling, fast talking, vaccination delaying, color obsessing, amateur gardening, baby food making, photograph taking, faraway traveling, baby making, tattoo designing, non-circumcising, lakeside living, small government believing, pro-life advocating, television abandoning, extended breastfeeding, German speaking, deep thinking, former art teaching and baby cosleeping ways.
Now, although I may choose to still do those things, I will simply be a sinner saved by the King's grace, wife to my Prince, mother of Many Small Children.
Pride has no place in the life of a King's daughter. Which is why I'm mellowing out. Accepted that I might have to supplement a little bit. No one ever tells you how difficult pumping is; that you don't get as much as the baby get out by herself; that it takes up so much time you're consumed by guilt; that you will feel very much like a farm animal locked away in your office.

I feel like a giant weight has been lifted from me. No longer crushed by pride, I can just be me. A mama, doing the best I can do, loving my little girl insanely."

Milk Made!

So go ahead and call me la pollo grande, but I can't continue to drink the sage tea and quit pumping.

I cut my pumping and started on this tea to reduce my supply a bit and ....to my horror it HAS WORKED! I no longer am getting over 45 oz out per day. I don't know if anyone else who has purposefully cut their milk supply back has experienced this huge feeling that they are doing something wrong, but I had to stop. It just felt wrong, and maybe a fear of drying up too soon has gotten the best of me. It was nice not to have to wash and sterilize pump parts and lots of bottles.
I don't know, maybe I'll try it again when the baby starts on solids around six months, but for now...

let the pumping resume!

Who needs a freezer full of meat when the supermarket is just a short drive avay =^_^=

Monday, October 12, 2009

Cream Wars

Nipple Cream.....

It's something that most of us nursing moms can't or won't live without. I've had my fair share of dry,sore,cracked nipples mainly back when I breastfed my first son. Nowadays I like to think of myself as a well informed, research driven mommy. I know..I know...many lactation "experts" will say "use a few drops of your own milk to soothe your aching nipples". That's all good and well if you have a light dryness problem, but what if a few drops of milk won't cut it? What if you need some serious "boob lube"? Enter the NIPPLE CREAM!!!

I have always swore by the lansinoh brand and have had good results, but I did get some free samples of another brand that has me thinking twice about my next "BL" purchase.

Here is what i liked about this "other brand......

Ease of application - The cream came out of the tube with little effort and the consistency made it super easy to apply to my moderately sore and dry girls.

Sooth factor - One application lasted me until my night time shower and even afterwords my girls were smooth and soft.

Olfactory pleasure - It smelled nice (vary faint scent. if that even).

I love my lansinoh...but for this one I may have to convert to Medela.

My major issue with the lanolin cream I use now is that it is too thick to get out of the tube, and forget about it now that it's cooler. I have to warm the tube before attempting to get it out.

Nipple application is just as difficult. The stuff is STICKY! Plain and simple. You have to kneed it between your thumb and forefinger before you can apply it, and even after that it spreads very unevenly. If you have sore nipples the last ting you want to do is handle them unnecessarily.

So here I go....off on another trip to target. I think we know which brand has won the battle today. Consider me converted! =^_^=

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Wet spots

This was a weekend of firsts. It's been a long while since I've been out on the town, well I finally got a chance to whoop it up this Saturday! It was hard to leave my little girl behind and I spent quite a bit of time at my sisters before she kicked me out the door. Once I was out the door, things began to feel a bit better......but only a bit lol. It was my first time being separated from the baby for longer than two or three hours.

First stop was to my favorite beer garden. It was as loud and alive as I remembered! Good times and even better shellfish were had before my group headed up the street to a curious place with live music, and questionable patrons. It made for some very interesting "people watching" in between our own banter of baby talk and random things. The beverages at this place was sick and gave my ex-watering hole (this place in my borough lovingly nick named OB's) a run for it's money and not in a good way. Maybe it was me and my relatively new low tolerance, but that place kicked my ass! I even danced!

Stepping out of that place on the way home I got lots of stares from the passerby's. I didn't immediately think anything of it because ....well it was the village after all, and people act weird all the time. Thankfully a member of my party looked at my chest and promptly informed me that my shirt had two big wet milk circles on it!! ......*sigh* I forgot my breast pads.........

Even with the waterfall on my chest I still had one hell of a time, with the headache to prove it! =^_^=

Waste Not.........

Thanks for the prayers....

Church went better than expec ted. It was our first time back since my last trimester. I sat in the back with the baby because I didn't want to leave her in the child care center in church. The only bad thing that happened was that the bottle of milk I packed leaked out into the baby bag and soaked everything in the inside pocket......bummer I know, but it was just a few bibs. The diapers were in another pocket thank goodness! With the milk gone I had no choice but to breastfeed her in the pews, again...thank goodness for boobs! As far as crying goes, she only cried a little when she wanted her sweater loosened and bounced on my knee for a bit. All in all a very successful day! No complaints here.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Milkin' Craig

OT- Have you heard of a website called "Craigslist"? Well I'm sure you have but I'll tell you a little bit about it. It's basically a web site that functions like a big ole classified section, where people advertise everything. For sale, wanted, jobs, personals, ect. Well long story short I am selling a few things there that I no longer need for my baby to make room for new baby things that take up space as well (just got a stationary baby jumper). The problem is that when you post an ad, it gets buried in a matter of minuets because the site is very popular with other people who are posting as well. It is very frustrating.

Is there any other site out there that has the same functions in NY?

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Inspired Milkin'

Just a short tid-bit......

I love being home with my sunflower and being able to exclusively breastfeed full-time, Therefore I have decided to start my own business. First comes the research part...

I will keep you posted. wish me luck.

Moomoo Reading

Hana is going to read at an early age! =^_^= She loves to hear reading...

More public feedings.........

Today we're feeding at the library. On our way back from school we bumped into Ryan's old classmate (I just moved my middle son into what we call our public private school, It's awesome). After a short chat with the mother about our up coming Halloween party at my house we decided to hit the library. Ryan read his homework books and his friend did his own homework packet. The silence lasted a good 30 minuets. I could feel the crying spell coming.

1st the whimpers.....I stand up and begin walking around the library. That keeps her occupied and looking around for about ten minuets, Then BAM! she starts crying, and of course us mommies can differentiate our babies cries, so I know that it's the cry of "nurse me to sleep". That and it's around the time when she goes down (in my arms of course) for one of her afternoon naps.

I began looking around for a quiet place to sit down and feed her. I found a chair at the end of one of the isles in the adult section. We were 5 minuets into nursing before one of the librarians came over and asked me to stop because someone had come to the front to complain about what I was doing. That was very embarrassing! It's not like I was exposed or anything, I had the blanket covering the baby and me. Well anyway, I didn't want to make a scene so I got up, baby and all, said good bye to Ryan's friend's family, and left. What jerks they are at the library.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Blog URL

Since a few of you guys have told me that you cannot find my blog, I decided to change the url to make it easier for my friends and readers to find. Let me know if this is better or if i should go back to the old name.


Also, I've been thinking of moving this blog to another site. Still not sure but if most of my readers are on the other site, I'll switch.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Baptisim/Nursing in church.

I can't wait to go back to church. My princess is almost old enough to attend with me and it's been a while since I have been able to take the family. I am a little nervous about bf'ing in church, but hope it works out. Maybe I have to sit all the way in the back? I think I'll make this week the WEEK to make Hana's church debut. Pray for me......

Also the family Baptism is a month away and I have not found a dress for Hana. I'm thinking about having it custom made. Has anyone done this before? If so, how did it turn out? If I opt for a pre-made dress this is what is at the top of my list (http://www.christeningshop.com/girls-outfits/christening-gowns/anabelsilkchristeninggown.cfm). Its a little pricey, but this is not a item to skimp on. A 50/50 split will make it affordable.

My two boys have their awesome matching white suits already. I bought them during easter espically for this occasion, so they are set. Don't ask about what I am wearing.....I'll grab something and call it a day =^_^=.....oh well.

Church updates next week....I'll tell you all how it went. prayers& luck please.


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